Change = Sadness rant

I keep being told to sit through my sadness and let it pass, I find this so hard to do. A friend mentioned that I might have some unresolved anger from childhood left over, and boy did that hit a button. I have lots of unresolved anger from childhood, that I was never allowed to express, now what do I do? I don't have any room for a punching bag in my apartment.

I know I'm going through changes with retirement approaching, let me count the ways:

1. I'm invisable to the gay community
2. I will become somewhat invisable to society as a whole when I retire
3. Loss of structure in my life
4. Facing the idea that I have 20 more years left on this earth, or maybe 25
5. Facing the challenges of setting up a new life for myself, until then I am in a sort of life/limbo.
6. Wondering what my exit is going to be like?
7. I'm coming to terms with my sexuality later in life than most, now that I'm really ready to jump in there isn't anyone to jump in with
8. My x partner/ now best friend has moved hundreds of miles away
9. Letting go of control, or what I thought was control

I was asked what my "ideal" life would look like, and I'll be reporting on that, after I give it some serious thought.